i need to establish something about my boyfriend bruce. he's not a bank. some people seem to be having a problem understanding that, garry and jared, every day its like "give me fifdy bucks bruce so i can buy some candy." and bruce gives it to them b/c he's a softy. Garry and jared dont know whats up though, they just need to wait until i come home from indiana, grab hold of bruce's balls and stop the money flow. no more candy. i hate happiness.
for those of you who dont know, bruce is the ceo of a rival pr firm, banana pr, and he's pretty much a baller. hes about 3 feet tall with red hair and a pot belly. sometimes he lets garry and jared dress him up funny in hats and chains, but lately he's been more corporate in a shirt and tie. no pants though, hes not into pants. and then bruce gives them fifdy bucks for being his stylists. Man, bruce will pay anyone for anything. even the talentless. thats right, i went there.
Anyway, the point is that bruce is mine and everyone needs to back off our fortune, or how else will we take care of bruce's adopted son, Lomon? Lomon needs fifdy bucks, too. Not for candy though, for sweet threads and not dying in the jungles of bornio. or wherever he lives. If you kill lomon i will give you fifdy bucks... wait what? just kidding. lomon can live, i guess. plus hes allthe way in asia or some shit, sucking up my money. i mean, OUR money.
fuck it. hey bruce, gimme fifdy bucks!
10.10.2007
that'll be fifdy bucks.
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