LiLo, Maniston, and MTV – Oh MY!

She’s baaaaaaaaaaack. Yes, little miss Lindsay Lohan (LiLo if you’re nasty) is back in the news yet again. Not only did she steal some chick’s mink (she denies…though I think she’s just in denial over a larger problem) but now she’s been dropped from two films. Awwww! I was SO looking forward to having her grace movie screens again. ::::dripping with sarcasm:::: But I WAS keeping my fingers crossed for another “Georgia Rule”-esque Producer’s letter. That would’ve given me some fodder.

Anyway, our girl had been yapping away about being in some upcoming movie about the Manson Family – which probably would’ve suited her; a pretty psychopath isn’t such a far stretch – but she’s been replaced. She was also supposed to be in a romantic comedy with Jack Black but got nixed from that one as well. I wonder if this means she’ll be taking another vacay to Cirque Lodge? Or maybe she’ll try her hand with Promises next time? Then again, she always has “Ugly Betty” to look forward to!

Additionally, little Lohan also got in a tiff with her girl-friend/girlfriend Samantha Ronson. After the fight, Lohan was balling her eyes out on a banquette, but luckily our friend LC was there to lend a shoulder. If I were LC I’d watch out. LiLo will fuck your man in a sec.







Ooooh Maniston! Here they are, back in Miami, canoodling in the pool at the Mandarin Oriental. And they called it puppy love…







I may be one of the only people that actually watched MTV’s “Rock the Cradle.” I can’t be sure because a) I haven’t bothered to check any ratings, and b) I don’t love it so much that I talk about it and receive confirmation that I’m the only one watching it. Anyway, this past Thursday was the season finale of the show. Let me tell you the premise in case you’re totally in the dark: Rock Stars (-ish) have children. These children are now young adults. They are talented (-ish). They want their own careers so they perform on the show and compete for a record contract and money or something. I don’t know…I never paid attention to the prizes. Bottom line: It’s like American Idol with celebrities’ kids – so better.

By far my favorite kid was Lucy Walsh (daughter of the Eagles’ Joe Walsh). Here’s Lucy:







Yeah, Crosby Loggins was pretty good, but he was kinda nasal-y and I felt like I wanted to crack his nose back into place several times. Jesse Blaze Snider was good too, but he was a dog and pony show – all distractions, no music – not my style. Then there was Chloe Lattanzi (Olivia Newton John’s daughter) – my favorite in a different way. I never would have voted for her, or anyone else for that matter, but I DID enjoy watching her on the show – she was sort of a trainwreck that you couldn’t help but love. With her huge lips and big eyes, and hump-the-stage dance moves she kinda stole the show. Here’s Chloe:







But back to my issues. So last week Lucy Walsh was voted off. And I was really upset. Because after Lucy Walsh sang the first week, I actually had her song in my head (still do, kinda) and I wanted to hear her again and again. Which makes me think she’s really good! Click here if you’re interested in hearing one of her performances…the song starts at about two and a half minutes in. So what I’m thinking happened, as an amateur conspiracy theorist, is that the reason Lucy got booted before the season finale is because of her father Joe, who had been notoriously fickle all season long (and didn’t show up for most of the performances). All of the kids’ parents did a duet with them to their most popular song. I have a feeling that Joe said he wouldn’t be able to make it/didn’t want to do it/etc and thus Lucy got booted before the finale. Of course, I have no proof, but if makes sense. Because Chloe, who everyone thought would disappear the first week, made it to the final three, over Lucy. Hmmmm… Oh, and btw, Crosby won. In case you care.


Other news you may or may not care about:

· Jimmy Fallon is taking over the Late Night show for Conan O’Brien. No worries though, as Conan is taking over the Tonight Show for Jay Leno. As for Leno? NewLarryKing!Pants

· Jenna Bush got married this weekend. I don’t really care about this story. Congrats?pants.

· Nick Bollea, Hulk Hogan’s kid, got sentenced to 8 months in prison for “felony reckless driving” yesterday. When he gets out, he’ll have to contend with 500 hours of community service, three years of a revoked license, and five years probation (during which he can’t drink). SoberMizzyPants

· PerezHilton.com has naked pics of Kristin Davis (allegedly – some speculate that they’re fake). If you’re interested. I was surprised. NoPants.

· NKOTB isn’t the only 90’s sensation making a comeback – 90210 is slated to air again in a new incarnation (a la Degrassi: The Next Generation? Fingers Crossed!) on the CW. So far, both Jennie Garth and Donna Martin herself, Tori Spelling, have signed on. Come on Dylan, Brandon, David, and Andrea. We all know you’ve got nothing else going on. Especially you Gabrielle Carteris. JimAndCindyWalshRockMyPants.

· Hugh Hefner told “Extra” that he’d love to have Miley Cyrus pose for Playboy once she’s legal, calling her a “very pretty lady.” CallChrisHansonPants.

· Al Reynolds is (or was) on Facebook. Apparently, he’s a professor at Florida Memorial University – who knew? I thought his full time job was carrying Star’s crap around and fanning her with large leaves and feeding her grapes. RaceToFindHimPants.

· Audrina Patridge (of “The Hills” fame) will be starring in a film! Woohoo! She recently got a new agent who will focus SOLELY on her career, instead of sharing one with LC, and now she’s landed this new film! Oh…wait…it’s “Into the Blue 2.” DirectToDVDPants.

· Alanis Morissette told People Magazine that she’s recently hit “rock-bottom” because of “a personal unraveling of significant relationships in my life.” Yup, you guessed it – the end of her engagement to Ryan Reynolds, though she wouldn’t comment on his new engagement to Scarlett. (Oh- just had a thought! Alanis – there’s another Reynolds on the market – hint, hint – he likes strong, independent “women.”) Anywho, she’s taken all of that pain, and frustration, and heartache, and negative energy and….made another album! DUH! BITTERLittlePillPants.