Pleo: the first dino we've ever had to fear - TechHumorist

To the delight of pompous a-holes everywhere, Apple released its newest iteration of the industry-changing iPhone Monday, showcasing what a difference a year can make when it comes to gadgets.

When ample supplies of device rolled out in late June 2007, much to the chagrin of douchebag e-bay entrepreneurs, critics assailed it for its lack of obvious features, including 3G support, which allows faster mobile browsing.

The new iPhone addresses some of those concerns, and some are calling Apple's newest money printer one of the most perfect devices ever created.

Later-gen devices are well-known for vastly improving upon their predecessors, adding functions, fixing glitches and even becoming less expensive.

But this phenomenon should give us pause, especially when it comes to the greatest threat mankind will ever face -- Pleo, Version 3.1.

Sure. He looks cute now. And sleepy. And maybe even a little ticklish. But do you see how he lunged at that finger? It's a sign of things to come.

So why should we be worried about this robot dinosaur? After all, as a species, we haven't had to be terrified of any dinosaurs since we showed up here. That is, unless you're a believer in a 10,000-year-old Earth that was once home to dinos and humans at the same time, where Satan's buddy Darwin hates Jesus and is looking to corrupt young minds from his grave.

The answer to that question is a complex one, mired in the myst of futurology, but there are some signs that clearly indicate where we're headed and why we should start springing for some combat shotguns, land mines and helmets.

Jurrasic Park: Do velociraptors scare you? They should, because they sure scare creatively sarcastic roboticists.

Even the herbivores in that movie could stomp the crap out of you. Most of those dinosaurs were animatronic robots, and since then, I've yet to see a more convincing portrayal of dinosaur prowess.

But that was 15 years ago. Grunge was still cool. People were pissed about Mortal Kombat. And our current masters- and PhD-level researchers were in their most impressionable years.

Just think of the horrors Steven Spielberg released upon the world unintentionally (aside from the intentional horrors like Artificial Intelligence: AI and The Terminal).

He should be ashamed.

Progressing technology: When Popular Science peeled back the skin of a Pleo in March, they made it clear that the little baby herbivore was an incredibly complex machine. But there are still quite a few challenges roboticists would have to overcome before they can create a truly effective autonomous killing machine.

I mean, sure, a robot can rip you in half and everything, and the Pleo now can surely nibble on your finger with an adorable factor approaching frickin' 11, but it's not like it can actually chew you.

Oh wait, scientists are working on that. With the intention of creating a robot that can break down soft foods to analyze taste, French scientists have made a robot that "mimics the first steps of digestion -- chewing, saliva release and food breakdown." And it's five times the size of a human mouth. Right now, the device can handle foods as hard as apples.

But with the rate of technological progress, the cylinder will soon be ready to handle muscle, bone and eventually the researchers themselves.

It doesn't necessarily matter that the researchers building an eating bot and a dino bot are different. Like most technologies, they'll build on each other's success with great intentions, until that path inevitably leads to World War D.

Friends: Pleo's not alone. Apparently, scientists at some point decided that making cute, cuddly robots, or even ones that just plain sucked, wasn't enough.

So they've abandoned storytelling, animated bears in lieu of more terrifying creatures. They've begun, apparently, with the moderately terrifying ones. Like air and sea jellyfish that communicate with a swarm intelligence. Or how about robot stingrays, which will surely end up on the hunt for robotic Australian wildlife enthusiasts.



All it takes is one robot manbearpig, and mankind is doomed.

Motive: Yeah, sure. This video is hilarious. There's nothing quite like watching a machine controlled by the hands of man annihilate another machine acting on its own intelligence.

It's like watching Gary Kasparov stare down Deep Blue in chess only, well, entertaining.

But you know the funny thing about robots? THEY NEVER FORGET.

Try explaining this one in binary.