Congradulations. You have reverted to middle school.

Today I preformed a little social experiment in accordance with my post below. I met up with a guy who posted a personals ad on Craigslist b/c i wanted to see what it was like. You know, just the tip, just to see how it feels...

It was so awkward and uncomfortable for so many reasons, that 99 percent of me doesn't want to speak of it again. But the entire reason I did it was to share my profound insight, so I feel bound by my self-imposed obligation. And if I don't then I just wasted 20 minutes of my life talking to the weirdest dude ever. Who btw, looked nothing like the picture he posted on the list. But he has been in a snickers commercial, so perhaps i should have been blinded by fame. (This is his Web site.)

Our incredibly forced 20 minute convo at a random bench in Union Square included a lot of sketchy under-biting (him) and eye-darting (me). We didn't even talk about anything important, it was all so generic and forced and repeated the phrase, "Oh, that's cool," about 30 times. Topics he brought up included, so did you drink a lot in college (yes), you seem as though you would like to manage people (wtf?), and how the entire situation was awk-town (seriously). Just thinking about it makes me want to crawl under my covers and never attempt meeting new people again. When did i become this fucking awkward?

Oh wait, that's not new awkwardness, it's middle school Kelly that has just lain dormant until it could rise again. Like mono, or cancer. It was bound to happen. Eventually.

Middle school defines the scary years. You not only look ridiculous b/c of puberty, but you are also aware for the first time that you might look ridiculous wearing that dumb baby animal t-shirt. You know nobody likes you. You get pimples and braces. Boys are so scary that even when you like them and they ask you out, you say no. Those relationships that bloom against all odds last a matter of hours. You're too young to make any decisions. Or have sex.

Fast forward to my early 20s. Once again I have reverted from the top of the educational world to be disposed at the bottom of the stack, and I know it. I can't do anything cool b/c I have no professional experience. I still think baby animal t-shirts are awesome. I keep getting pimples. I get nervous when I talk to boys. Even though I can bed boys (schwing!) I usually don't b/c I don't want AIDS. Or them in my personal space the next day (mostly this reason). And relationships are totally a country in Africa.

And for the second time in my life I just want to be in high school.

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